I've been thinking about kindness a lot lately. In the handful of different types of leadership positions I've been in I've come into many situations where I was just shocked that people think it is OK to talk to or treat other people the way they do. However, not being mean is not enough (though it certainly helps). Being kind is more than that. It is taking a moment to think about someone else. Have you ever watched someone after they are tossed a smile or compliment? They light up, if you are blessed you may even get to watch them passed the infectious joy on to someone else. Along this same line I recently read the short devotional Give Life With Your Words by Jon Walker. I love his devotionals because they are short, to the point and nearly every single one of them cause me to think and self evaluate.

This particular devotional brought to mind a lady from my church, let's just call her Mrs. V. Mrs. V lights up a room when she enters it. Sometimes I could just swear that she honestly is emitting a soft glow! This is clearly the Holy Spirit just shining in her. If I was going to pattern myself to be like any living woman I would want to be like Mrs. V. I'm careful not to put her up on too high of a pedestal but I do admire and love her dearly.

Besides singing her praises I bring up Mrs. V because of this funny habit she has of gushing over people and complimenting them. She can think of something kind to say about anyone! I've come to think that she can't control herself, that kindness just gushes out of her without her control. For instance once she came knocking on my door unexpected on one of those days when the house is a mess and you haven't bothered to bathe or get out of your PJ's. Picture greasy hair, stained t-shirt with holes in it, and baggy boxer style sleeping shorts.... I kid you not when I opened the door the woman's face lit up, she smiled, hugged me then looked me up and down and declared, "I love your slippers!" Needless to say, I've come to take her compliments with a grain of salt.

I am a cynical type of person. I don't take compliments well...to be honest I usually feel like your pulling my leg. However, I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if you believe it is sincere, it stills feels good when someone takes that tiny little effort to make you feel special. Which brought me to the realization that just as I'm not good at taking compliments I'm not good at giving them either. Even though I'm generally a loving person I can be thoughtless. I simply don't think. I may think you look nice today but never think to voice it. I may be impressed with your skills but never think to say it. I get caught up in my own life and forget what a long way a smile could go to someone feeling out of place. I feel the strain of the responsibility of my children's education to the point that while pointing out their errors I sometimes forget to praise their achievements. Children don't understand your worried that you are failing them, they only know that you are telling them they are wrong. Do you remember to praise them when they are right? Ouch. I don't always remember that.

While feeling the conviction from the devotional I read it dawned on me that sometimes when I remember to praise my son for good work soon afterwards he'll spontaneously bounce on me with a hug and declare, "I love you, Mom!" All from just a little scrap of attention from me. At first I didn't know whether to feel bad that he seems that so desperate for my approval or to use it as an example of how easy it is to give joy to others and how wonderful the rewards can be from doing so. I've decided to apply it both ways. That "Wow that looks great Brandon!" takes so little effort and his undying affection means the world to me.

On the flip side sometimes it is more than being thoughtless or forgetting to pass out well deserved praises. Sometimes people are just flat out cruel to each other. Words are painful weapons that can cut and scar a soul. Obviously, I can't do anything about people being cruel and thoughtless in their actions to one another. It is particularly painful at times to watch Christians do this to each other or run people away from God's house with their judgmental attitudes and tearing people down. I can't control others actions, but I can be more aware of my own. I can remember to encourage a sister who is stumbling, accept people where they are for who they are, build up others that feel torn down, criticize less, forgive with all my heart, smile more, laugh louder, share my joy, have more empathy, chose my words carefully when tempted to be unkind and most of all love my fellow man because God loves them and He would have me love them also. It just takes a moment to think of others and that moment could carry someone through a whole day.